


your heart is my home

by cafedeolla



Category: Banana Fish (Anime & Manga)
Genre: 2019, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fantasy AU, Knight! Ash, M/M, Nightmares, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Reverse Big Bang Challenge, Witch Prince! Eiji, banana fish - Freeform, imactualfandomtrash artwork
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-07
Updated: 2019-07-07
Packaged: 2020-06-23 21:02:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,730
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19709383
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cafedeolla/pseuds/cafedeolla
Summary: Eiji is always there to keep the nightmares at bay





	your heart is my home

**Author's Note:**

> writtten for imactualfandomtrash's art piece you can see on tumblr for the banana fish reverse big bang!

_ Screaming. Voices begging for mercy, for their lives, for their children. More yelling and grunting, the sounds of swords clanging and bodies falling. It’s muted somehow, the haze falling over the sound like something so distant and not right outside the door. The smell of blood and iron, of burning thatched roofs and hay, the year's harvest and grain storages going up in flames. So much more will die in the coming months. So much more will die that night.  _

_ He’s hiding, but it is only time before the soldiers of Golzine’s kingdom find him. They tear entire villages apart like ravaged dogs tearing into fowl, relentless and without any shred of humanity, doing everything in their malignant power to retrieve the King’s most prized possession. Monsters. The kind woman that lived a little closer to the edge of the small community has hidden him in the closet, making him swear to stay quiet, that she will go get help. Verdant eyes are wide and frightened, tears streaming down, his heart beating in his little chest at the fear that wracks his body, but also the guilt of bringing such ruin to this place that has done nothing wrong but taken in a boy with scars beyond comprehension and horror.  _

_ It’s getting closer, the sounds are getting louder, the question of ‘Where is he?’ echoing in the air. The shadows, the boy realizes in petrified terror, are coming closer. The closet door is opening, but his limbs are suddenly too heavy and he can’t raise an arm to shut it tight. The door of the house is shaking, shaking so hard and loud and yet the beat of his heart is pounding even louder in his ears. The small home is all shaking, the heavy footsteps are closer, and suddenly the house is surrounded, he can’t see it but he can feel it, can feel the suffocating and cruel presence, the hand reaching over him and suddenly he’s right in front of Ash and he still can’t move.  _

_ “You’re mine.”  _

Aslan wakes up with a shout, sitting up too rapidly, chest heaving up and down. He’s alert, eyes wide and wild and his hand reaches for the sword that he keeps next to the bed, a precaution that any good Knight knows to keep. He takes it out of its scabbard, the sound of steel cutting the air. He’s sweating, covers shoved to the side at some point in the nightmare, and he’s kneeling up now, pointing the sword at any shadow that formed in his adrenaline filled mind. It’s dark, but his eyes quickly adjust, and in his peripheral he sees a glowing red stone on his wrist, and Ash needs a moment to remember ever wearing such a thing. 

Eiji’s charmed bracelet. He blinks, breathing still ragged and knuckles curled so tight over his sword they’re white, but the sight of his friend’s gift slowly begins to tether him back into reality. The color is swirling like ink in the oval-shaped stone, originally white and plain when Eiji had first presented it to Ash. It was meant to keep them connected, Eiji explained, so that they of them could always know how the other is doing. At the memory, Aslan blinks a few more times before the rigidness of his shoulders give way, and he sighs as he drops his sword in defeat. 

Surely enough, there is a knock on his door a moment later. By the time Ash gives permission to enter, Eiji is already closing the door behind him. Ash isn’t looking at him directly, sitting up on his bed and his knees folded to his chest, sword laying loosely in his hand, but in his peripheral vision he can make out the whole scene. Eiji, understandable for the time of day it was, is wearing his nightclothes; long silk robe pajamas, and an intricately designed robe, but as always, he’s barefoot. No matter how many times Eiji’s mother tries to tell him he can’t walk around in a cold castle without any shoes, Eiji refuses to listen to the Queen. The room is dark, but not for long. Eiji held a single, glowing light in his hand, no doubt conjured on his way here and too impatient to get a candle like a normal person. (Except he isn’t a normal person, Ash reminded himself, not at all.) 

“Ash?” Eiji calls out, voice sweet and concerned. Ash swallows down hard, hating himself a little more. Despite not wanting to leave his friend hanging, he couldn't find his voice at the moment to answer. Eiji knows Ash is awake however, and with a soft incantation of ‘mollis lux’, the little bulb in his hand flies up to the center of his bedchamber, and lights the room with a soft, glowing pink light. 

“Ash,” Eiji calls out again with dark eyes finally find the Knight’s form. Ash can’t look at him yet, the adrenaline still taking its time to bleed out of his body, lingering agitation still holding his mind. The dark haired man approaches him, but doesn’t touch him just yet. He sits on the edge of the bed, searching for Ash’s eyes to meet his own. A smaller hand is laid out, right next to Ash’s own limp one. 

“Aslan,” that voice calls out again, and it’s even softer, closer. It said nothing else and yet it said more than enough. Let me help you. Please look at me, please tell me you’re okay. 

He’s gotten too good at this, the blonde notes. Or maybe Ash let himself be taken care of by this man. He feels the small, delicate touch of soft hands in his own, as if testing the waters. Ash doesn’t pull back, however, and the touch slowly grows into a hand being held. After a few moments, the knight finally turns his head, and is met with the loveliest face in all the land. Eiji is looking right at him, attentive and visibly relieved to finally have Ash respond to something. 

“Drink some water,” Eiji instructs, and he reaches out to the cup that was next to Ash’s bed. The knight knows full well that he left that cup empty earlier that night, but Eiji must have done another spell to fill it from the pitcher without needing to take his hand away. Ash lets go of the sword for a moment, and drinks, finding that he’s still shaking a little even now. Eiji however, doesn’t comment on it, and take the cup back when Ash is done. 

“Was it that dream again?” Eiji asks, low and worried. His hold on Ash’s hand tightens ever so slightly, and Ash finally feels like he’s securely bound to this reality once more. He takes a deep breathe. 

“They’re memories,” Ash replies, eyes gazing down at their joined hands. “I was remembering the night that I was brought to the castle. When Max saved me, and your parents let me stay.” 

Eiji scoots closer, taking their hands into his hand and enveloping them with the other one. Ash continues. “I dreamt that they found me again instead. That I was going to be taken back there.” There is a tremor in his voice, and a few more tears escape. Ash places a hand over his mouth, beginning to shrink into himself again. “I thought I was being dragged back to that hell.” His voice breaks. “I thought I was alone again.” 

“Ash,” Eiji says, the concern in his voice almost ached. There was some movement, and suddenly Eiji was next to Ash, arms around him and holding him as best as he could. There was only one person in this entire world the knight would ever bare himself to, the only one he would lean into and sob like a child without any fear of exploitation. 

Ash sobbed in the Prince’s arm, and the dark haired blue-blood never complaining about aching arms or body. His hand rubbed small circles on his back, and he spoke words that always pierced directly into Ash’s very soul. 

“I’ll always be with you,” the Prince says, voice warm and soothing. “You’ll never find yourself alone ever again, for as long as you want.” 

The knight falls asleep in the arms of his Prince, and dreams no more. 

___ 

_ Ash met Eiji nearly thirteen years ago. He had been brought into the castle by a Knight, still frightened and shaken from the raid the night before. He had no one, not anymore. The old lady who had taken him in was dead, and no other villagers wanted a boy who brought so much destruction in his wake. While waiting for his turn to have his fate decided by a King and Queen, he’s approached by the Knight who brought him in earlier.  _

_ “There’s someone I want you to meet,” the Knight says, kneeling down to try and talk Ash.  _

_ “Who?” Ash demands, body growing rigid and ready to run away at the first sign of danger. He’s so intent on keeping his eyes on Lobo that he doesn’t notice a boy, barely taller than Ash, come out from behind him. Ash finally notices him, and he blinks.  _

_ The boy has hair as dark as a raven’s feathers, eyes as large and dark as the night sky, and a face that radiates the softness that was entirely appropriate for a boy his age. He looks smaller in age that Ash, but he’s not too sure. The boy is smart however, and notices Ash’s rigid stance and fierce glare.  _

_ “H-hi,” he starts timidly. When Ash doesn’t answer, the boy looks at Sir Lobo for a sign of assurance. The man smiles and nods encouragingly, giving this boy the courage he needed. “I’m Eiji. Um, Sir Lobo told me that there was someone new to play with, a new friend.”  _

_ Ash doesn’t reply, and Eiji shuffles in his spot nervously and it’s only then that Ash sees that the other boy isn’t wearing any shoes. Then his brows draw in together.  _

_ “Why did you call him Sir?”  _

_ “What?” Eiji isn’t expecting this, large eyes blinking in confusion.  _

_ “Why did you call him Sir?” Ash repeats, this time pointing up at Max. Said Knight looks at Ash incredulously, lips parted as the young boy’s clear disregard for him.  _

_ Eiji tilts his head. “Because he’s a Knight. That’s what Knights are called when the King ordains them. It their job to help people.”  _

_ “Help people,” Ash repeats, the concept a little foreign. “The King is helping the village too. Why are they all helping?”  _

_ Both Eiji and Max are surprised, but while Lobo splutters and overthinks the implications of such questions, Eiji is able to deliver the answers that Ash needs in all his child-like regard. “Because that’s what Knights and Kings do,” Eiji says, like it was obvious. “They protect people and they help them. They wouldn’t be very good Kings and Knights if they hurt people.” Eiji seemed scandalized by the idea.  _

_ Ash brows only further scrunches in thought, the concepts completely foreign to him. People in power, as far as he knew, only liked to hurt others weaker than them.  _

_ “Eiji, we need to talk to your parents about where Ash needs to go,” Lobo interrupts, voice abruptly soft. Ash looks up at him, and he finds that sad look again.  _

_ Eiji nods, but he looks hopefully at Ash. “I hope you get to stay, Ash. We could have lots of fun together.”  _

_ The blonde doesn’t answer, but he looks down in a sudden wave of shyness. The raven haired boy smiles, and he waves at Ash before walking away, bare feet on the floor of the grand room. He wonders for a moment how the boys feet doesn’t get cold.  _

\--- 

He wakes before dawn. Pale eyelids slowly reveal verdant eyes, body still as the silence of the dying night is soon bid adieu by songbirds and the rising sun. He’s warm, and he feels a distinct presence next to him. Slowly turning his head to the side, his gaze lands on the sleeping form of the only boy who could calm the storm of Ash’s nightmares. 

Eiji’s breathe is steady, his body rising and falling with each exhale. His skin is clear and clean, only tanned from the amount of time he spends under the waking sun. Eiji’s mother has long given up trying to make him stay in the shade, or even wear shoes. His eyelashes flutter against his cheeks, round and soft still despite all the training and sparring he does with Ash. His lips; all pink and plump, parted just slightly, with a sliver of his white teeth peeking through. He’s wearing a loose shirt that has somehow fallen off his shoulder throughout the night, and Ash can’t help but compare him to a sleeping faerie. 

Ash turns on his side, carefully, and moves a little closer, letting his eyes roam freely at the boy who came to his rescue last night He’s seen Eiji shirtless, naked even, countless of times, but he can never stop and just appreciate how beautiful Eiji really is. Somehow as they grew up that descriptor was given to Ash, but it never really fit in his mind, not when someone as radiant and soft and  _ a Prince  _ was right next to him. Not when Ash felt so broken and sharp, unable to soften despite how much better his life has become since arriving here. Even now as he gazes at his friend, he feels unworthy of having someone that would worry over him this way. 

\---

_ “Ash?”  _

_ Said blonde jumps up from the bed, and sees the dark haired boy with large eyes looking at him from the doorway and then breaking into the sunniest smile he had ever seen.  _

_ “Ash!” Eiji cries out this time, and runs to him, stopping short in front of him and freely grabbing his hands like they’ve known each other since forever. “You’re actually here!”  _

_ “Where else would I be?” Ash asks, a little bewildered at having all this boy’s attention so soon again and yet not soon enough.  _

_ Eiji shrugs, but he’s still grinning. “I’m happy to see you again.”  _

_ Ash feels incredibly warm all of the sudden, an unfamiliar bashfulness forcing him to break their hands apart, crossed his arms and look away. “I don’t have anywhere else to go.”  _

_ Eiji’s small lips pursed for a moment, before looking around the new room. “Your room is not too far from mine, but it’s a little empty.”  _

_ Ash feels himself bristling, wondering why a rich kid is judging him over his lack of things, but Eiji grabs Ash’s hand again and looks at him hopefully. “Do you want me to conjure up some stuff for you?”  _

_ Ash blinks, not making sense of what this boy tells him yet once again. “What?”  _

_ “Follow me!”  _

_ That’s when Ash learns that Eiji can do magic. But, for now, he’s really not that good.  _

_ “Ta-da!” the raven haired boy proclaims, presenting his newly sculpted masterpiece on his hand to Ash. They’re in some storage of sorts, all kinds of shiny things around them. There’s some silverware and chalices, fine carpets and rugs, peacock feathers and other decorations. Eiji says this is where they kept the stuff for special occasions.  _

_ The blonde peers intensely at the piece of bronze that was once a plate. “A rock?”  _

_ “No,” Eiji sighed, shoulders sagging. “It’s a bunny.”  _

_ Ash scrunches his nose. “Bunnies don’t look like rocks.”  _

_ “It’s not a rock!” Eiji yells, his ears turning pink. He looks forlornly at his deformed bronzed sculpture, and Ash feels bad for just a moment before he tsks.  _

_ “Whatever, I want it.”  _

_ “You do?” Eiji asked, confused. “But you think it’s a rock.”  _

_ “It’s a rock bunny,” Ash corrects, and takes the little sculpture out of Eiji’s hand. “And it’s mine.”  _

_ Eiji smiles, and he scoots closer to Ash. “Are we friends now?”  _

_ Ash pretends to think it over as he looks at his new possession, and he shrugs. “I guess.” _

_ Eiji doesn’t say anything, but his eyes grow even more impossibly large, even sparkling. Ash huffs, fighting back some weird warmth in his cheeks again, and places his new treasure in his pocket. “What else is there to do around here?”  _

_ “A lot!” Eiji exclaims, excited and more animated than ever. “I can show you the weaponry! Oh and the gardens, there’s lots of trees to climb and they even tied a rope that we can swing on!” Before Ash could even register it, a hand had wrapped itself quickly around his own. The action made Ash drew in a sharp breath, he stilled for a moment, ready to pull away but then stopped. There was something different to this kind of touch than the ones he was most used to. The young orphan looks up at the genuinely delighted expression on the other boys face; all because Ash said they were friends.  _

_ The touch wasn’t rough or demanding, wasn’t gripped around Ash’s wrist like it was ready to take him away. Instead it was a gentle squeeze, a connection made from the sincere desire to express nothing but happiness. Eiji, much too young to even notice all of this running through Ash’s head, keeps his hand there, and Ash realizes he’s been talking the entire time.  _

_ “......but of course I’m not allowed to go into the sanctum until I’m twelve, which is next year! And then I get to practice even harder magical things and maybe someday I can even have my own dragon-,”  _

_ “You’re older than me?”  _

_ “Yes?” Eiji tilts his head, confused. “Aren’t we the same age? Max said we would be.”  _

_ At the mention of the knight, Ash scowled. “Well Max doesn’t know anything about me. I’m nine.”  _

_ “You’re younger than me?!” Eiji asks, a little scandalized. “But we’re the same height!”  _

_ At this a small smirk grows on Ash’s young face. “You look even smaller than me.”  _

_ It’s Eiji’s turn to scowl, and he huffs. “Fine, I’m not gonna let you see anymore magic.” And then Eiji starts getting up and leaving the room. _

_ Ash blinks, and starts to follow after his new friend. “Eiji no come back! I want to see more magic!”  _

_ And slowly Eiji begins to show him more than just magic.  _

_ He showed Ash the armory, the gardens, and the pond as he has promised. Eiji showed Ash the throne room when it was empty, how to sneak cookies past the old cook, and the way to the tallest tower to see the unfiltered sky at night. They went up there a lot, on Ash’s request. For a long time Eiji didn’t know that on those nights Ash was afraid to be alone, afraid to fall asleep, afraid of being somewhere far and away from this castle and the gardens. And while all that would remain very true, he was quickly more afraid of being so far from Eiji.  _

_ The younger boy had never had a friend before, much less a ‘best friend’. Eiji was the one who introduced him to that too. Whatever the name was, Ash found himself more attached and only trusting the raven haired boy in the entire castle.  _

_ “I knew you two would get along great,” Sir Lobo said much more self satisfied than Ash thought he had any right to be. He was visiting Ash again, and Eiji was away in his magic lessons. He tried to get permission for Ash to come and see him, but he had been strictly barred until Eiji had much better control over his powers. Ash looked down at his book, and he thought he saw Max’s quizzical glance thrown his way.  _

_ Right. They were still surprised he knew how to read. He clutches the book a little tighter, something Sir Lobo notices and clears his throat.  _

_ “So everything really going okay, kid?”  _

_ Ash shrugs, turning the page. “It’s fun.”  _

_ “Just wait until they find you a tutor,” Max says, leaning over his chair. “They’re going to be teaching you a lot of new things. Maybe one day you’ll be one of the Prince’s trusted advisors.”  _

_ “Who’s the Prince?”  _

_ At this Sir Lobo laughs, a hand landing with a heavy thud on the table. “Don’t be so mean, Ash. Eiji is just very young, but he will grow into his role very soon. He’s going to be the first Witch King in about three hundred years, imagine that,” Lobo shakes his head, throwing a small smile in Ash’s direction, completely missing the blank shock of his expression. “That’s why his parents were so glad you would be around. Eiji doesn’t get to make that many friends since he’s too busy with all his lessons.” He smiles becomes something fond, and Ash’s stomach goes uneasy. “You really did arrive to the castle just in time.”  _

_ Later on that night, Ash has to ask.  _

_ “Eiji, who are your parents?”  _

_ Even in the dark Ash can imagine the puzzled look on the older boys face. They’re in Eiji’s room, and Eiji begged Ash to stay with him that night. It was becoming a regular occurrence, these impromptu sleepovers, but depending on how his friend answered there might be an end to that ...and many more things.  _

_ “King Kenji Okumura is my dad,” Eiji replies, and Ash’s heart drops to his stomach. “And Queen Miziki is my mother, but you already know this Ash. You met them when you came.”  _

_ “I didn’t know they were your parents,” Ash replies, sullen and withdrawing. “I didn’t know you were a Prince.”  _

_ “Does it matter?” Eiji asks in all his naive glory. Ash splutters.  _

_ “You're a Prince and you didn’t tell me!”  _

_ “It didn’t seem like you cared,” Eiji says. “I don’t care. I liked that you didn’t care either.”  _

_ “I didn’t know,” Ash says. Silence took over, and Ash waited for Eiji to command the orphan commoner to get out of his royal bedchambers already.  _

_ Instead he feels the bed shift, and the warmth of Eiji’s presence grows only closer, not farther.  _

_ “I’m sorry you didn’t know,” Eiji says, voice oddly tight. “I thought you knew. I….I hope I can still be your friend.”  _

_ Ash is shocked. “I thought I couldn’t be your friend!”  _

_ “That’s stupid,” Eiji says bluntly. “Why would it mean that?”  _

_ Ash is too afraid to answer, so he stays silent.  _

_ “You’re my best friend, Ash,” Eiji finally says again, but now he’s yawning, and his voice is heavier. He reaches for Ash’s hand again, and it makes his heart heavy and light at the same time like it always does. “You’ll always be my best friend.”  _

_ Ash doesn’t question him in that moment, but the matter never ever really settles in his heart. Instead he listens to the steady rise of fall of the Prince’s breathe.  _

__

The memory of it all crushes Ash even further, and he finally gets up. He goes to stare out at the window, seeing the rising sun break through the horizon. Ash was unworthy of so much and it weighed on him, like a boulder on his chest and with no way to escape from under it. He wasn’t worthy of the mercy granted to him on that day so long ago, or of the friendship Eiji offered him that way, or anything else that came after. In the end, he would always be known as the ward castle’s ward, and then later, who would become a Knight under the influence of Sir Lobo. 

If Eiji heard Ash thinking of himself that way he knew it would mean a good tongue lashing, but it was a truth that the Prince couldn’t accept. While Ash made sure that every step of his climb was fairly and rightfully fought for and earned, that in every battle he lead his calvary victory, he would never be worthy of the one thing he wants the most in this world. 

Said thing stirred awake, and Ash could hear the movement of ruffling bedsheet and a displeased whine. “Ash.” 

The Knight swallowed down. “Your highness.” 

Everything goes still behind him, and he can almost imagine the deathly scowl on the Prince’s face. Eiji hates it when Ash reverts to their social standings, especially if they’re alone, and especially when Ash uses it to distance himself. There’s silence, and for a moment Ash wonders if Eiji stormed out with a silence charm in his wake. 

“Sir Lynx, I need you to accompany me to the forest,” Eiji says, and Ash realizes that he’s using  _ that  _ voice. The royal voice, the one that took years for him to get right because Eiji wasn’t born with an innate ability to command like his father, but he had something else that gave him the courage to speak with such authority. “I have some matters I would like to attend.” 

Ash doesn’t look back. “I have my duties around the castle to attend. I can arrange another Knight to-”

“I will have you and no one else,” Eiji cuts in, and Ash knows he’s angry now. “Tell Sir Lobo that you will be out of commission for the day.” He can hear him walking across the bed chambers, and opening the door. “I will be ready to leave in one hour.” 

Ash clenches his jaw, hands tightening in a fist. “As you wish.” But there is no one there. 

\-- 

_ There was plenty to explore within the castle walls, but a year after Ash arrived at the Castle, they decide to venture out. Eiji had been to the forest already, when his teacher would take their lessons there. At first Ash was a little hesitant. Where he was from, the forest was a dark and dangerous place, where the fae and the spirits only waited for a poor human to fall into their clutches like a fly to a venus fly trap. But Eiji showed Ash what the sunbeams under the canopy brought light to; the plants that bloomed, the trees and the spirits, including which were friendly and which to avoid; the animals that scurried across the forest floor, those that lived in the trees, and others that made their homes in the burrows. The cycle of life and death that had to be respected, no matter how much it hurt. It also helped that since Eiji was of magic, every spirit and creature in the forest recognized his ability to understand their ways.  _

_ They found secret caverns too, portals into another world. One in particular, became their favorite secret spot, the place they would go to when lessons became too frustrating and parents and guardians too overbearing; their own little world. It was perfect, hidden by vines and shrubbery, a cavern that leads to a clearing protected by high walls of rock and vines. Eiji would bring his scrolls, Ash his books, and both would bring their mock swords and spar.  _

_ Hidden in this small space, they were just Ash and Eiji. No matter what was happening, what they were going through, they always made time to meet there to be left alone with one another. And slowly over the years, it was in this safe alcove that Ash fell in love with his best friend.  _

\-- 

Ash was ready outside of Eiji’s room, and in the hour exact, the Prince makes his appearance. He’s wearing robes that Ash once dubbed the ‘wood witch’ attire (which earned him an earful but it was well worth it). But this time Ash doesn’t say a word, and Eiji doesn’t seem too keen on looking at him just yet, adjusting a satchel of books to himself. The knights wonders why the Witch Prince is bringing his books along, but it’s no time to question Eiji now. 

“Let’s go.” 

The castle is already teeming with activity by the time they set out. They have to sneak out if they want to leave without raising any suspicion or concern. Thankfully, they’ve been doing this for years. There was a small opening through the grove that was so conveniently located in the back of the gardens that leads right into the forest. One has to crawl through the small opening in the underbrush, and Ash gives Eiji the signal to wait. The knight then kneels and goes first, as he always has. As they grew older, Ash became increasingly protective of his friend. Ash making sure that the coast was clear became an undisputed condition to their rendezvous after a wolf has met them on the other side. 

As so as tradition, the knight crosses over and quickly scans the clearing right outside the garden, eyes scanning the brush and senses alert for anything abnormal. After a moment, he kneels back down and place a hand out on the other side for Eiji to grab onto. The Prince did so, and when he was up, he let go of the Knights hand. Ash sighed to himself, and continued after him. 

Eiji didn’t need to tell him where they were going. Ash knew from the moment Eiji commanded it of him. 

They walked the familiar winding path of their youth, those carefree days where Ash found it easier to stay in his denial about his place in the world; but, more importantly, in Eiji’s life. The birds are in full song, and he knows they’re calling to Eiji because it’s the song they’ve reserved just for him. But instead of joining in or calling them to himself, Eiji remains silent; the only noise escaping from him are the leaves and twigs that crunched beneath his feet. 

Finally, Ash sees the entrance to their cave. He continues forward, ready to enter deal with whatever methods Eiji is thinking will make Ash talk, but suddenly Eiji holds out a hand to stop him. Ash looks at him, a hand on his sheath. 

“Stay out here,” Eiji says, but this time he’s not commanding Ash and that is almost worse. “I’ll be waiting inside for you when you’re ready.” 

The words feel like a punch to the gut, but Ash can’t protest before Eiji parts the vines and disappears into the cave. 

\-- 

It’s a few hours later before Ash is ready. At first he had felt anger, even embarrassment, at having Eiji command him in this regard, where he has no right to meddle into Ash’s mind. Yet as quickly as it came, it left. Eiji owned his heart and soul, and everyone in the castle except Eiji seemed to know this. He hadn’t scolded Ash, didn’t even rebuke his attempt at pushing Eiji away when it was clear there was no one else that could possibly be there. It was always Eiji, it will always be Eiji who can understand what Ash needs before Ash knows himself. 

Ash walks in, allowing the darkness of the cave to take over him for just a single moment. Then in the dark, he sees the light at the end of the tunnel. He still treads carefully, know there could still be rocks and unseen dangers. When he finally reaches the exit, his eyes blink at the newfound light. 

Their sanctuary was green and tender now that it was spring. The wild flowers were blooming, the small waterfall was running, and the pond now had ducks in addition to the turtles that already lived there. Ash walks in some more and looks around for Eiji, and finds him under the canopy of a tree, reading. Or at least, the book is physically wide open. However he’s looking at the little pond, a pensive look of worry, even sadness, on his face. Ash has no doubt he’s part of the reason why it’s there. 

Quietly he makes his way over. Eiji hears him at some point, and Ash feels the guilt that squeeze his heart when the Prince actually looks relieved to see him. Ash kneels next to him, taking the liberty of sitting closer than he would in the castle. Eiji takes it as a sign, and scoots even closer, discarding his book away. 

For a moment, none of them say a word. The sound of running water, the quaking of young ducklings, the song that refuse to relent in the distance fills up the space. Ash lays a hand down. A smaller, warmer hand gently rests on top of it. 

“Ash,” Eiji says, and his voice is soft, almost pleading. Suddenly all of Ash’s defenses are down. There’s nothing else in the world that can disarm him so effectively. His hand squeezes Eiji’s own in return. 

“It was the same nightmare,” Ash begins, and it’s almost a miracle his voice doesn’t waver just yet. “They found me. They found me and took me back. And-and I was powerless.” 

Eiji doesn’t say a word, but he moves even closer, their knees bumping and a hand in on his shoulder. Ash keeps going. 

“I couldn’t protect myself. I couldn’t stop them from putting their hands on me. I screamed, I begged for them to stop, but they didn’t. They….they pulled at me. It felt like they were tearing me apart by all sides, and yet they were dragging me towards the one person that could destroy me.” 

Ash voice cracked, and he puts a hand over his eyes, his body shaking with anger. “After all this time, after all I’ve seen, I’m still  _ scared _ of him. He’s been dead for awhile now, Eiji. His men have been killed; I’ve  _ killed _ some of them. I killed Arthur.” Ash looks up, jarring how his surroundings was at such contrasts to the state of his mind. “He can’t touch me anymore. He can’t threaten your father anymore. He can’t hurt  **_you_ ** . So why,” Ash looks at Eiji now, the Prince gasps at the tears. “Why am I still so scared?” 

Eiji’s arms is wrapped around Ash, and his eyes are wide. Letting go of Ash’s hand he places it over his cheek, and Eiji shakes his head. 

“You’re hurt, Ash, even after all this time,” Eiji says, understanding and patient. “Dino was a threat to all of us for so long, and you understood what he was capable of more than anyone else within the kingdom. The things you were able to tell me father early on, it saved us, but even then we didn’t know what could happen. Yes, we were all afraid, but for you it had been much too real, much too close. Even though its been years that is not something you can just forget, not when there’s a possibility it could happen again. Ash,” and at this, Eiji lifts Ash’s face with both hands. “He might be gone, but that fear is going to take even longer to go away now.” 

Verdant eyes still swam in tears, and the Witch Prince uses his thumbs to wipe them away. The manner in which the raven haired man held them was so tender, they way he looked at Ash so sincere, and Ash knows this is how Eiji has always touched him. They’re so close, their foreheads are almost touching, and yet, Eiji doesn’t budge from where he is. Always so concerned to not scare Ash away, to not make him feel trapped or cornered. He’s known Ash for so long, and, Ash realizes, the Knight is the only person who has gotten to know the Prince this well, too. 

Eiji was so special; wasn’t the typical spoiled, overbearing and rude Prince that so many around their regions were. They stuck out their noses at anyone they deemed beneath them, didn't even look in the direction of their servants, as if they weren’t human but only bodies that served their every whim. In fact, he was the kind of Prince that only fairy tales could aspire to portray of; he was unfathomably kind, always ready to put himself to work, and he never failed to many the servants smile in his direction when he came to them. He could make the Knights feel more courageous and protected with his magic, make the couriers more enamoured with his compassion. Prince Eiji was much better than any stupid fairy tale can conjure up. 

But Ash was the only one who has seen him cry over a dead baby bird when he was twelve years old, and he had tried every spell he had learned to try and bring it back. Ash has seen how just Eiji is, remembering the time he defended Sing from Yue, even when Yut Lung was much stronger in his magic then Eiji at that point. He didn’t care how much bigger or stronger the other person was; Eiji wasn’t going to let them have their way with anyone he cared about. He’s kind, yes, but he’s so unimaginably petty over the smallest things that miff him, like when Ash made fun of his magic. Eiji gets so angry sometimes that he stomps away like a child and yet, Ash thinks that’s when he’s the most endearing. Ash is usually the source of such emotion but that’s besides the point. 

Ash is the only one who Eiji has told his biggest fear; of failing. Failing as a Prince, as a Witch, as a King one day. He’s afraid that maybe he’ll soar too high, too far, and he’ll come down and crash like a burning Icarus. Ash knows Eiji, as much as Eiji knows him. 

Yet, it’s always Eiji who saves Ash. Never the other way around. 

“What kind of Knight am I when I can’t even protect you from myself?” Ash croaks out, so miserable. 

“Aslan,” Eiji replies with a small, dry giggle of disbelief. This time he does let their foreheads touch, and Ash can see something else there in those dark eyes. They’re been there for a very long time now, and Ash sometimes fantasize that it’s exactly what he hopes it is. But he takes it as something fond, and maybe doting. Eiji looks at him, as beautiful and understanding as he always is. 

“You’ve saved  _ me, _ every single day since you’ve arrived.” 

\--

Later, when Eiji stirs awake, and he knows even without sensing the earth that the sun is high. Eyes flutter open and he sees that they’re indeed still in their alcove, the pond’s clear water running and the birds still singing but they’ve left Eiji alone. The tree has protected them, the branches even reaching as far out as they can to cover the witch and the knight from the burning rays. Eiji thanks them, and settles more comfortably without waking Ash. 

The Prince finds that he’s not moved from his spot either, head still on the shoulder of his Knight. He listened for a moment, and finally feels the steady breathing of his sleeping friend, and carefully looked up. 

Ash is so beautiful, sometimes it causes something inside Eiji to ache. He’s finally sleeping peacefully, his brow cleared of any crease and lips void of any tightening. He looks younger like this, and much more like Eiji has always seen him, even when the world is determined to pin him as some angel of death. He was always just Aslan to Eiji. His Aslan. 

Eiji places a chin on that shoulder, and he looks at the Knight in the only way forlorn lovers do; with all the longing and hope that can be held in a heart. Everyone knows Eiji belonged to Ash, heart, mind and soul. Even his parents had long figured it out, and asked Eiji on a constant basis what was taking so long. But for all their years of friendship, for all the trust they shared, Aslan wasn’t ready to hear this from Eiji. There was so much that he had endured, so much more that he continues to fight within himself. All Eiji could do was continue to be that friend, that person that Ash needs while he fights his battles that are far away from the fields. The Prince has waited for so long already, but he was willing to wait even longer. 

“I’ll wait forever if I have to,” Eiji whispers, heart feeling light and heavy as it always does when it comes to this boy with the face of an angel. “You’ll always have my forever.” 

**Author's Note:**

> Fic collab with imactualfandomtrash for the Banana Fish Reverse Big Bang 2019 on tumblr! I went through seven different plot ideas lmao but I sincerely hope y'all enjoy and can let me know if you liked it! Thanks again at the mods for organizing everything!


End file.
